Friday, 26 September 2008

Drug Related Quotes

- I don't know. I never smoked AstroTurf.

Baseball player Tug McGraw in 1974, when asked if he preferred grass or artificial turf

- If God dropped acid, would he see people?

Steven Wright

-I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells.


- All drugs of any interest to any moderately intelligent person in America are now illegal.

Thomas Szasz

- I used to have a drug problem, but now I make enough money.

David Lee Roth

- Marijuana leads to homosexuality ... and therefore to AIDS.

White House Drug Czar Carlton Turner, 1986

I ask congress to give thoughtful consideration to legislation entitled
appropriately, the Banana and other odd fruit disclosure and reporting
act of 1967. The target is those banana-smoking beeatniks who seek
make-belive-land ... as it is described in the peel puffers' secret
psychedelic marching song 'Puff the magic dragon.

Congressman Thompson of New Jersey, Congressional Record 19.4.1967

- It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it.

Upton Sinclair, "The Jungle"

- I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.

Mick Miller.

- Reality is just a refuge for people who can't handle drugs.

Robin Williams

"This drug is especially efficient in producing nightmares with
hallucinations wich may be alarming in their intencity. Another
peculiar quality of it is to produce a strange and extremly degree of
physical depression. An hour or two after it has been taken a degree of
sinking may cease upon the sufferer so that to speak is an effort. By
miserys such as these the best years of life may be spoiled."

The Regis professor of physics at Cambridge, in the early 20th century, writes about tea.

- I'm in favor of it as long as it's multiple choice.

Kurt Rambis, on drug testing

- LSD is known to induce psychosis, in people who have never used it.

Timothy Leary

- The Caterpillar cannot understand the butterfly

Timothy Leary

- I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.

Keith Richards

Did you know America ranks the lowest in education but the highest in
drug use? It's nice to be number one, but we can fix that. All we need
to do is start the war on education.

Leighann Lord

People talk about soft drugs and claim that they are less dangerous as
gateway drugs. I believe this to be completely wrong. Parents should
listen more carefully to the lyrics of rave-music who glorifies

Silvia, the queen of Sweden (Malaysia, 1999).

Rave-music lyrics? Less dangerous as gateway drugs? Ehh ...

- If the Fed had a war on abortion like its war on poverty or war on drugs, within five years men would be having abortions!

Harry Browne

- Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison.

John Hardwick

- The jury has the right to judge both the law as well as the fact in controversy.

John Jay

- Moderation in all things -- including moderation.

Benjamin Franklin

"Drugs are not the answer *pauses* unless the question is: 'What is not
the answer?" In which case the answer would be drugs. That however
would be the only time when drugs would be the answer, that I can think
of... Next question please..."

A local politician at a youth summit

- "Faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death!"

Hunter S Thompson

- "I grew up, went into rehab

you know the doctors never did me no good

they said son you're gonna be a new man

Ii said thank you very much

can I borrow fifty bucks."

Layne Staley Alice in chains

- I used to get high on life until I realized that life was cut with morons


"Woe to you my Princess, when I come, I will kiss you quite red and
feed you till you are plump. And if you are forward, you shall see who
is the stronger, a gentle little girl who doesn't eat enough or a big
wild man who has cocaine in his body."

Sigmund Freud addressing his wife, from 'On Coca'

- My dials are pupilated


The chemistry lesson from last century is that no drug has ever caused
as much problems as the attempts to rescue us from them.

Arnold Trebach, professor emeritus, American University.

- The Grass is always greener ... when it is rolled up in a paper.

N.R. Johansson

- That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it
makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and
not necessarily the truth.

Bill Hicks

Animal rights people are historically overt abusers of substances, but
you know; if you took as much LSD as Paul McCartney you wouldn't eat
anything with a face either.


In 1960, Allen Ginsberg takes Psilocybin at Timothy Leary's house,
calls Jack Kerouac and identifies himself as God. Kerouac hangs up.

From a book written by Adam Higgibotham

- "The band The Orb have a little game they play, designed to limit the

consumption of drugs to those still coherent enough to get a spark

across a synapse. Having had his fill of a joint, Thrash turns to Alex:
"What's the capital of Peru?" "Lima," replies Alex with some
satisfaction. Thrash surrenders the spliff. "The Orb," explains Alex
hazily, "has become a very geographically conscious band. Mountain
ranges in Africa, rivers in Russia, cities in south America - we know
'em all. Have to. No geography, no drugs."

From a book written by Adam Higgibotham

- Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.

Abbie Hoffman

- We can never solve our significant problems from the same level of thinking we were at when we created the problems.

Albert Einstein

- I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?

Denis Leary

- Corruptisima republica plurimae leges. [The more corrupt a republic, the more laws.]

Tacitus, Annals III 27

- The Dancefloor is for those who can't afford to drink in the bar


- Laws are like sausages, you respect them more if you haven't actually seen how they are made.


- The Cruelest Trick Came From The Talibans, Who Allowed Plenty Of Drugs And Then Banned Music.


Thursday, 25 September 2008

Geek Quotes

Best Geek Quotes

  • There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t
  • If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
  • I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly
  • My software never has bugs. It just develops random features
  • Roses are #FF0000 , Violets are #0000FF , All my base belongs to you
  • In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
  • Hand over the calculator, friends don’t let friends derive drunk
  • I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code
  • Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
  • The box said ‘Requires Windows 95 or better’. So I installed LINUX
  • A penny saved is 1.39 cents earned, if you consider income tax
  • Unix, DOS and Windows…the good, the bad and the ugly
  • A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in
    human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila
  • The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong
  • UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity
  • Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
  • C://dos

  • You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead
  • 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
  • Alcohol & calculus don’t mix. Never drink & derive
  • How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  • There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer
  • Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button
  • It’s not bogus, it’s an IBM standard
  • Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!
  • The farther south you go, the more dollar stores there are
  • Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers
  • The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers
    handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and
    shoot all the other computers
  • If you want a language that tries to lock up all the sharp objects
    and fire-making implements, use Pascal or Ada: the Nerf languages,
    harmless fun for children of all ages, and they won’t mar the furniture
  • COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
  • Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to
    build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying
    to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning
  • LISP = Lots of Irritating Silly Parentheses
  • The beginning of the programmer’s wisdom is understanding the
    difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program
  • Squash one bug, you’ll see ten new bugs popping
  • Everytime i time i touch my code, i give birth to ten new bugs
  • boast = blogging is open & amiable sharing of thoughts
  • We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again
  • Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted
  • If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBO
  • Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner
  • Bad or corrupt header, go get a haircut
  • Unrecognized input, get out of the class
  • Warning! Buffer overflow, close the tumbler !
  • WinErr 547: LPT1 not found… Use backup… PENCIL & PAPER
  • Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
  • Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
  • Best file compression around: “rm *.*” = 100% compression
  • Hackers in hollywood movies are phenomenal. All they need to do is “c:\> hack into fbi”
  • BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding
  • I survived an NT installation
  • The name is Baud……James Baud
  • My new car runs at 56Kbps
  • Why doesn’t DOS ever say “EXCELLENT command or filename!”
  • File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
  • Cannot read data, leech the next boy’s paper? (Y/N)
  • CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
  • Does fuzzy logic tickle?
  • Helpdesk : Sir, you need to add 10GB space to your HD , Customer : Could you please tell where I can download that?
  • Windows: Just another pane in the glass
  • Who’s General Failure & why’s he reading my disk?
  • RAM disk is not an installation procedure
  • Shell to DOS…Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS…
  • The truth is out there…anybody got the URL?
  • Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…..
  • E-mail returned to sender — insufficient voltage
  • Help! I’m modeming… and I can’t hang up!!!
  • All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
  • Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue
  • Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Mouse not attached. Please left click the ‘OK’ button to continue
  • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…
  • Press every key to continue
  • Helpdesk: Sir if you see the blue screen, press any key to continue. Customer : hm.. just a min.. where’s that ‘any key’..
  • Idiot, Go ahead, make my data!
  • Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources
  • To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so
  • (001) Logical Error CLINTON.SYS: Truth table missing
  • Clinton:/> READ | PARSE | WRITE | DUMP >> MONKIA.SYS
  • (D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
  • Computers can never replace human stupidity
  • A typical Yahoo! inbox : Inbox(0), Junk(9855210)
  • (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic?
  • Bugs come in through open Windows
  • Penguins love cold, they wont survive the sun
  • Unix is user friendly…its just selective about who its friends are
  • Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity
  • Bell Labs Unix — Reach out and grep someone.
  • To err is human…to really foul up requires the root password.
  • Invalid password : Please enter the correct password to (Abort / Retry / Ignore )
  • FUBAR - where Geeks go for a drink
  • I degaussed my girlfriend and I’m just not attracted to her anymore
  • Scandisk : Found 2 bad sectors. Please enter a new HD to continue scanning
  • Black holes are where God divided by zero
  • Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
  • Thank god, my baby just compiled
  • Yes! My code compiled, and my wife just produced the output
  • Windows 98 supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously
  • Zap! And there was the blue screen !
  • Please send all spam to my main address, root@localhost :-)
  • MailerD(a)emon: You just received 9133547 spam. (O)pen all, (R)ead one by one, (C)heck for more spam
  • A: Can you teach me how to use a computer? B: No. I just fix the machines, I don’t use them
  • PayPal: Your funds have been frozen for 668974 days
  • 1-800-404 : The subscriber you are trying to call does not exist
  • 1-800-403 : Access to that subscriber was denied
  • Error message: “Out of paper on drive D:”
  • If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I’d antialias my graphics!
  • A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
  • “Mr. Worf, scan that ship.” “Aye Captain. 300 dpi?”
  • Smith & Wesson: The Original Point And Click Interface
  • Shout onto a newsgroup : It echoes back flames and spam
  • Firewall : Intruder detected. (A)llow in (D)eactivate the firewall
  • Real programmers can write assembly code in any language
  • Warning! Perl script detected! (K)ill it , (D)eactivate it
  • Firewall : Do you want to place a motion detector on port 80 ?
  • Helpdesk: Sir, please refill your ink catridges Customer : Where can i download that?
  • All computers run at the same speed… with the power off
  • You have successfully logged in, Now press any key to log out
  • Sorry, the password you tried is already being used by Dorthy, please try something else.
  • Sorry, that username already exists. (O)verwrite it (C)ancel
  • Please send all flames, trolls, and complaints to /dev/toilet
  • Shut up, or i’ll flush you out
  • Cron : Enter cron command \ Now enter the number of minutes in an hour
  • We are experiencing system trouble — do not adjust your terminal
  • You have successfully hacked in, Welcome to the FBI mainframes.
  • I’m sorry, our software is perfect. The problem must be you
  • Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway
  • Webhost livehelp: Sir you ran out of bandwidth, User: Where can I download that?
  • If Ruby is not and Perl is the answer, you don’t understand the question
  • Having soundcards is nice… having embedded sound in web pages is not
  • My computer was full, so I deleted everything on the right half
  • You have received a new mail which is 195537 hours old
  • Yahoo! Mail: Your email was sent successfully. The email will delivered in 4 days and 8 hours
  • I’m sorry for the double slash (Tim Berners-Lee in a Panel Discussion, WWW7, Brisbane, 1998)
  • Ah, young webmaster… java leads to shockwave. Shockwave leads to realaudio. And realaudio leads to suffering
  • What color do you want that database?
  • C++ is a write-only language, once can write programs in C++, but I can’t read any of them
  • As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code
  • earth is 98% full … please delete anyone you can
  • A typical yahoo chat room: “A has signed in, A has signed out, B
    has signed in, B has signed out, C has signed in, C has signed out..”
  • When someone says “I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done,” give him a lollipop
  • Warning! No processor found! Press any key to continue
  • Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product
  • NT is the only OS that has caused me to beat a piece of hardware to death with my bare hands
  • Warning! Kernel crashed, Run for your lives !
  • NASA uses Windows? Oh great. If Apollo 13 went off course today the
    manual would just tell them to open the airlock, flush the astronauts
    out, and re-install new one
  • JavaScript: An authorizing language designed to make Netscape crash
  • How’s my programming? Call 1-800-DEV-NULL
  • Yes, friends and neighbors, boys and girls - my PC speaker crashed NT
  • root:> Sorry, you entered the wrong password, the correct password is ‘a_49qwXk’
  • New linux package released. Please install on /dev/null
  • Quake and uptime do not like each other
  • Unix…best if used before: Tue Jan 19 03:14:08 GMT 2038
  • As you well know, magic and weapons are prohibited inside the cafeteria — Final Fantasy VIII
  • Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft…and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labo
  • Unix is the only virus with a command line interface
  • Windows 95 makes Unix look like an operating system
  • How are we supposed to hack your system if it’s always down!
  • God is real, unless declared integer
  • I’m tempted to buy the slashdot staff a grammar checker. What do they do for 40 hours a week?
  • Paypal : Please enter your credit card number to continue
  • It takes a million monkeys at typewriters to write Shakespeare, but only a dozen monkeys at computers to run Network Solutions
  • Please help - firewall burnt down - lost packet - reward $$$
  • If Linux were a beer, it would be shipped in open barrels so that anybody could piss in it before delivery
  • Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle
  • Perl, the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption
  • Norton: Incoming virus - (D)ownload and save (R)un after download
  • I had a dream… and there were 1’s and 0’s everywhere, and I think I saw a 2!
  • You sir, are an unknown USB device driver
  • C isn’t that hard: void (*(*f[])())() defines f as an array of
    unspecified size, of pointers to functions that return pointers to
    functions that return void

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Bread Is Dangerous

  1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
  2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
  3. In
    the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the
    average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates
    were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases
    such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations
  4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
  5. Bread
    is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as
    little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The
    average North American eats more bread than that in one month!
  6. Primitive
    tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer,
    Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
  7. Bread
    has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given
    only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
  8. Bread
    is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such
    as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
  9. Bread
    has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90
    percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body
    being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a
    soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
  10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
  11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 240 degrees Celsius! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
  12. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

Tuesday, 2 September 2008