A Mans Rules

We always hear " the Rules "
From the female side.  

Now here are the rules from the male side.    

These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!  


1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1.  Crying is blackmail.

1.. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable
 answers to almost every question..

1. Come to us with a problem only if
you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what
your girlfriends are for..


1. Anything we said 6 months ago
 is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become
Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If something we said can be
interpreted two ways and one
of t he ways makes you sad
 or angry, we meant the   other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know
 best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you
have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and
neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have  no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that..

1.. If we ask what is wrong
and you say "nothing,"
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't
 want an answer to, Expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine...
 Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking
 about unless you are prepared
 to discuss such topics as
Sports or Sex. (not necessarily
in that order)

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep
 on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really
don't mind that?????
It's like camping.......